dear I envy your easy joy my fear, my many spilled tears over nothing in cynical scythe or knife over these years i've grown cynical and weary I change the water and replace the flower in my room reset in the dark an old bottle of pure life iced tea and it's withering in part because there's not been a warm day since june but i remember the day it bloomed I was with you, in spirit not in person brilliant eyes, I admire your desire a spark that lights a smile, a love, a fire a golden glimmer glancing something so still a thousand lacy words all seeping down a wire the thrumbering bass shakes like an earthquake a tone who whirs alone under glints of disco twilight but this is not my fate, there must be some mistake I can't imagine this lonelnines could ever unwind and i've never told anyone in my whole life how i really felt about anything I slept with my makeup on, I woke up all alone I woke up all alone every day of my life

unconditional love is not unconditional unconditional love is not unconditional unconditional love is not unconditional what if i disappoint you. (give them all you've got, yeah!) (give them all you've got!)

BIDDY FOX: W.R.E.C.K.! W.R.E.C.K.! W.R.E.C.K.! W.R.E.C.K.! (cuz i'm a nervous...) LiL ECHO: ain't nobody care bout the person that i be pass the dope around call that joint custody (<- GREATEST LINE IN HISTORY) i dont give a fuck if you dont like me pass the fuck away and your soul i will reap im bumping HollisterJeans when i pull up to the scene no mask on my face aint no body step to me all the smoke fill the air all the diamonds round my neck im a real fuckin corpse im a real nervous wreck BIDDY FOX: W.R.E.C.K.! W.R.E.C.K.! W.R.E.C.K.! W.R.E.C.K.! (cuz i'm a nervous...) theres a nervous wreck with her neck all blessed and a blasted past and sensibilities crass and shes scared of being heard and shes scared of being hated cause maybe no one gets her maybe all her style’s dated and a bloody blue time with a dancing gay crime i’ll stop hiding it away if you’re so inclined and shes scared of being heard and shes scared of being hated cause maybe no one gets her maybe all her style’s dated before i met you i was gonna give in stop making my own shit just give into the rhythm but i was lonely and there was a whole world it’s 2022 and you’re still alone girl

theres a part of me that wants you to just start writing and never stop because you dont understand, im in love with you and your words and i could never love you as a person unless i knew what you were thinking

my mind is often seized by sordid fantasies neglecting I, replaced with we but for all our corporate dreams i laid and fell asleep my self all full of bees the form I want to be I can never let you see the queen lined us all up in rows i can never tell you about the meadows billowing sea of of golden flowers pathetic dreams of combination powers i wish i couldn't talk so i couldn't sound stupid i wish i could be content with not being lucid i wish i could fly and feel the sun on my chitin i wish i could go out and sell my writing

BIDDY FOX: i've been awake for too long pretending not to be alone four in the morning I could take sleeping pills if I willed them to work I used to have a friend who was scared of the dark i tried to explain the darkness was the backdrop the blank space, and the blank space connecting us I'm walking outside i am never gonna be home, always gonna be alone at night we all stand under the stars and we think that distance tears us apart but if we're both in the dark in different places we're really in the same place cause light is just an interruption, paint on the black canvas the infinite void that exists outside our vision you shouldn't be scared of the dark, you should live in it instead and feel together curled up under the stars PIGEON SCRATCH: and maybe it was ok you existed for a while but now you're gone you're not coming back soon that's the long lost truth that's lovelorn uncouth and i fell asleep gently glowing under the moon BIDDY FOX: I am imagining a kid on a forum circa two thousand and nine falling in love with the words on a webpage forgotten the second he logs off I am imagining a girl in a chat room circa twenty nineteen by this time those words are forgotten but she foolishly falls just the same who is this voice talking to me? are you that part of me that cares about other people in that deep annoying way? that always hides every time I really need you? I got over my anxiety, I taught myself to speak like a New Yorker and not a shy net-dweller, but you, little bunny rabbit, you run to your warren whenever you have to talk to somebody and I'm left so cold and aggressive. I filed down my teeth like the bunnies in the bloody cartoons I used to draw. I have learned to accept the taste of meat. Why haven't you, sweet love, my id, my shadow? We used to sit together and talk late in my room, and I'd draw you all soft in my notebook. It was comfortable, and you refused to leave. I would hate and pity you, if you didn't clearly love so much. did you ever read The Northern Caves? my friend esther told me about it, it is a visceral portrait of a part of history, it makes for good cosmic horror too, and it's so deeply familiar, it could very much be something real, even the unbelievable parts are a little believable, the way real obscure history like that is, because the truth is muddied and obscured, it can never be all that clear, can't it? everything we know for sure were just taking someone's word for it, but now i've descended into cliche, i'm sorry. of course you can't sleep, you've got your shoes on. take them off, smoke up a little, relax, maybe nothings happening tomorrow but even geniuses need to sleep.

we only ever held hands I wanted to do more (i wanted to sniff poppers) I wanted to hear you out I wanted to tear you out and every time I pushed you away I only wanted to pull you closer my minds kind of fucked that's the way it works cus when you can't stop thinking you kind of move fast you learn to not really get over anything cause you're just onto the next back when i was a puppet of sex i think you're still that probably If i was a creep i'd say your name in this song if i had a gas mask fetish and bunny ears so long play my fucking guitar for fifteen minutes for some cute young queers to fuck each other to it but you're a real person so I'll never do it even though if I know you you might approve it and it was kind of like recreating an accident when you did it again it sounded like a mistake but it was pretty sick the first time