1. |
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GOING TO YS
there was a bridge, I don't remember where
a few states south of my hometown
i think it was carlyle illinois
late spring early summer, the sweet scent of bloom
playing across the breeze, the middle of june
it was built from concrete and steel but still i was scared
what if my path broke like my will, and i tumbled off the side into the kaskaskia and drowned in my own drowning
would it hurt for my lungs to fill with water
i saw somebody on the other side, i dont remember any details about them either, but i remember that they were human and real
slowly i walked across the bridge
our paths parallel, but still we knew the other was there
solipsism is weak and the magic of a stranger is stronger
and a human beings love lasts longer than as far as we can tell, any mountain
on the other side of the bridge was the island
i looked behind me and it was gone
there i stood in that gentle sweet-smelling air
MISERY GHOST
i want to wake up one day with a stitched up heart
i want to fall asleep in the center of a dying star
i was a misery ghost in a car
i was whisperwood wild caught home is far
i would make mistakes no matter how thought smart
i would make mistakes make mistakes make mistakes
when was your devil done?
that little voice that told you to follow your heart
well I never could hear it
what has my devil done?
that little voice who told me "love; don't make art."
I never listened to her
but I should've
cause hardly a day goes by
where I don't wish I was you
even when you're sick and poor
i wish i was you
there is somebody waiting in the wings
there is somebody waiting with wings
angels wander ghosts wondering wondering
angels wander ghosts dissonant song they sing
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2. |
starbursts
02:09
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woo!
he is new york city in snow, hes
everywhere i always wanted to go.
atlanta georgia in thigh high socks and a
cute winter jacket.
ive always been weak for boys in glasses
pretty as a (bird/girl) he wants to work at nasa
cause hes always loved the stars
lets make out and talk about the stars.
he told me i took him far far away and i
asked to take him further.
"we're too young to drink" i said
we both knew we did not care.
a sip of something from dear daddys closet
muddying the ideas we posit...
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3. |
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swathed in mountains
falling for the sweet leaves
kindness, in hiding
sugar cubes all in the pine tea
and you're gonna be the darling
of all midwest summer season
sylvia herself all dressed up
european
i met you in a dream once
and you told me how to play right
and i'm still jealous of how good you got your voice to sound that night
so god bless you miss rosewater
time would take you into its
extraordinary arms
but you're too fond of love for to seduce ya
still, oh miss rosewater
i miss the time that we would be young
siblings in the wind
but a graceful tail and restraint never reduced ya
(synths)
so god bless you miss rosewater
time would take you into its
extraordinary arms
but you're too fond of love for to seduce ya
still, oh miss rosewater
i miss the time that we would be young
siblings in the wind
but a graceful tail and restraint never reduced ya
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4. |
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woke up cold, I was all alone
the sun was only starting its rising.
there things i been told, there are seeds been sown
but there's only light pink on the horizon
remembering Your hair, remembering Your face
remembering the way You walked with grace, oh god
you're my muse I never wanna say goodbye.
how ridiculous of a sentiment, but it's true.
i thought i heard you saying, i thought i heard you say
i thought i heard you saying, i thought i heard you say
it was a new religion, it was a brand new day
i thought i heard you saying, i thought i heard you say
you're a kid in high school. you're on the internet. on your birthday theres a solar eclipse. the leaves fall over the gray sky. upstate NY isn't a wasteland, same kind of beauty. go online sometimes, meet somebody, little bit parasocially. In defiance of the way this Person was born they define your idea of whats feminine. you adopt this person as your muse. you think about things you havent really thought about. you identify yourself for the first time in your life.
i thought i heard you saying, i thought i heard you say
i thought i heard you saying, i thought i heard you say
it was a new religion, it was a brand new day
i thought i heard you saying, i thought i heard you say
there are several ways to get my brain
but they are only found in some places.
the midafternoon sun in the wintertime
the old concrete buildings all covered in vines
the taste of sweet watermelon candy
from which you scrape remnants of life, okay!
i thought i heard you saying, i thought i heard you say
i thought i heard you saying, i thought i heard you say
it was a new religion, it was a brand new day
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5. |
snow punk 2022
01:55
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independence is key so leave me alone.
independence is key so i must be going.
oh well i must be gone
this is somewhere someone wants to see but not me!
i just wanna get around
i just wanna get out of town
i can see all the mist and snow
that collects outside our window
independence is key so leave me alone.
independence is key so i must be going.
oh well i must be gone
this is somewhere someone wants to see but not me!
i just wanna get around
i just wanna get out of town
i can see all the mist and snow
that collects outside our window
and i gotta be honest
i dont wanna do anything but talk to you
as the snow builds up outside
a fire burns hot in your eyes.
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6. |
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we are foxes, we are cats
ive written too many songs about cats
we are ten to the tenth power bigger than anything we could ever possibly imagine
we are a cify that's been growing for the past four hundred years
experienced at some unimaginably fast speed all at once
i'm nervous trembling
so desperate i'm hiding in the closet
hearing you walk around
trying not to make a sound
as i do with my hands
becoming something i'll never understand
and I'll swear revenge, I'll swear till kingdom come
on the person the moon has made me in the sun
and there are points where after all the stress
your nerves go numb
and it is bliss and it's contentment and it's everything
but your brain keeps you safe it's all a dream
you shed your true self like a promise ring
and i may be just a broken young man
but i woke up this morning from a dream
I was happy and I was alone
and it felt like a nightmare and i wanted to scream but
roxanne let's get out of this town
this bitch of a city with its poets all dead
tell all our friends "i won't be seeing you around"
God burn the circumstances to which this led
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7. |
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8. |
transubstantiation
03:37
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you can hear that wind, right?
it blows through the corners of this room.
chills me to the very bone.
there's a hole in my wall...
so this is the wonder of freewheeling thunder?
in glass bottle shattered, an old life in tatters.
she said, "i never knew it would come to this,
and you should know you'll be sorely missed."
but i can't bring myself to give a shit
see the seams climbing down the list.
THEN CAME COMMUNICATION WITH A GOD. NO NOT THE ONE YOU'RE THINKING OF. ANOTHER ONE.
so i saw my flesh change its shape and its texture. and i insisted to myself...
"remain. remain. and grit your teeth through the pain"
i've been learning to try and smile as it all comes away.
repeated once again: "remain. remain. never forget. remain. remain."
so this is the wonder of freewheeling thunder?
in glass bottle shattered, an old life in tatters.
she said, "i never knew it would come to this,
and you should know you'll be sorely missed."
but i can't bring myself to give a shit
see the seams climbing down the list.
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9. |
going to new jersey
03:36
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there is a change at the end of the line
the timing is right and the schedules align
so that cigarettes lit as the train pulls away
are spent put out on the ground as the next one arrives
im making my way
im making my way
im making my way
down to the garden state
theres peace in travel
space for thoughts to unravel
so heres how to meditate
thoughts are tied to one place
im making my way
im making my way
im making my way
down to the garden state
theres peace in travel
space for thoughts to unravel
so heres how to meditate
thoughts are tied to one place
ive never been the center of my own life
so there are some things i probably just didnt notice
there are things i want to have felt in my life but
my only dream is to someday grow old satisfied with the knowledge that once i burned with joy and that from here my candle will burn and go out and the light will remain in the hearts of every life I touched.
im making my way
im making my way
im making my way
down to the garden state
theres peace in travel
space for thoughts to unravel
so heres how to meditate
thoughts are tied to one place
im making my way
im making my way
im making my way
down to the garden state
theres peace in travel
space for thoughts to unravel
so heres how to meditate
thoughts are tied to one place
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10. |
ante meridiam
02:06
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I woke up in the middle of the night no that’s a lie I stayed up until high single digits ante meridiem, til the leaves turned viridian the sky grew blue and the trucks woke up and started pacing to their destinations like true faith on blue monday or a new holiday or a new way to pay like i cant help feeling like my good luck has run out, i’m a black cat who cant do that i never knew that, fell flat
typefucking type beat
my rooms neat, but feng shui
in times square the big screens
in colors in my dreams
cool like a chat room, how
flowers like cats bloom and
you don't sound cyber, dude
you're just saying technology things
and
they say to me, bratcat you
really don't see, they'll catch you but
i'm like the breeze, smashing the trees
all the debris, brought to its knees
keeping the freeze all through june
big fucking spacegun, call this shit doom
cute space marine, raiding your tomb
not like charlton heston that movie sucked too
fuck all those empires fuck cortez the killer
fuck cate wurtz and fuck crow cillerz
i'm just like bridget except i can't yo-yo
can't hula hoop either, um, i could buy plushies though
i'm just like juni i beat the computer
'sides I got skills I am so not a loser
Im not the DPS Im not a bruiser
call me the medic call me a chooser
I woke up in the middle of the night no that’s a lie I stayed up until high single digits ante meridiem, til the leaves turned viridian the sky grew blue and the trucks woke up and started pacing to their destinations like true faith on blue monday or a new holiday or a new way to pay like i cant help feeling like my good luck has run out, i’m a black cat who cant do that i never knew that, fell flat
(is it just me or does this guitar smell like cigarettes?)
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11. |
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woke up this morning with a hole in my chest
and a hand in my breast reaching into grab my heart
when i was in hell this secret world made me free
but now i’ve run far away im taking my own hell with me
i’ve been failing my classes i’ve been growing up young
my spine’s curled inward, daughter disguise the sun
every day i wake up wanna put that hoodie on but my brain tells me it’s wrong it’s said that for so long
if my wings twitch cutely, they can’t soar beneath the sun
if i’m not perfect, i’m not whole, that’s a lie, I know it’s one
but in an ocean of tequila and a snowstorm of tears
maybe there’s an island where joy can meet fear
halfway...
and if i make it through tonight, i’ll wake up tomorrow
go out and meet my friends, sharing joys and sorrows
i’ll admit it to myself
i’ll admit it to everyone else
i won’t know the limits of my own small body
(and we were the music lovers...)
(and the people say we just didn't want it enough, oh the people say we just didn't want it enough...)
no matter what
dandelion darling
i want you to remember
all the strength in that little body of yours
it’s enough, and you’re enough
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12. |
going to titan
02:52
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clockwork and noise in the ocean of oceans
for thousands of years ive been guided by that notion
if we could be free from sentiments of meaning
would there be any truth to what we were seeing?
reply to an email tear a book to shreds
take the ford to quickchek and buy a feeling of dread
i watered my heart and i aired out my lungs
but it feels like a game that i dont think ive won
and whoevers out there (there's nobody out there)
i'd like to file a complaint
there's never been a point in human history
when anyone was happy or anything meant anything
no matter what happens whether beautiful or sad
i'm damned if i will respond
the universe is a junkyard, all items overpriced
i resign, i quit, i withdraw.
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13. |
the island
09:58
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if the sea should overtake me
trust you'll be there when i'm gone
with the doubts that embody
the other me is wrong
fall comes for every artist
under fearsome white moon
was it wonder, then, that I felt?
september day like june
I just want to gouge my eyes out
so I can stop seeing the things
I see in the corners of my eyes
late at night
when i grow to be as old
as ben gibbard is now,
will i be writing the most beautiful verses
of my entire life?
I need to get out of this place, we need to get out of this place
i dreamt a town
with hills up and down
which swirled all around
i think it was san francisco.
i dreamt of a train
out the window the first stars
floating overneath scurrying cars
and a river dark as molasses
i dreamt of youth
and to tell the full truth
I'm so fucking tired of being young
When I'm 29 maybe I'll have my shit together
i've never felt home but i know its a place
it is somewhere to fall in the grassy embrace
of the ivy drenched woods in northeast september
its a need ive always remembered
and i know i'm a little obsessed with location
spending my days passed from station to station
a million ways to reach destination...
a million ways...
the world shines as i ride the port jervis line, going to new york.
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Biddy Fox Middletown, New York
you can wear my wings while i shower but the halos on metered hours
artist image by bowties8glasses.tumblr.com
posspossposs.bandcamp.com
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